Let Bygones Be Bygones
Written by Jerry on January 26, 2010 – 4:57 am -Deep down you know that there is simply nothing you can do to change the past. No matter how many times you wish you’d done something differently, the past will always remain unchanged.
You need to find a way to deal with your regret. When you continue to anguish over the past, you allow your own negative feelings to consume more and more of your life. It’s time to put a stop to it, so you can think positively again and your future will be brighter.
Getting Caught Up In The Past
It’s all too easy to get caught up in the past. Nobody’s perfect and, no matter how hard you try, you’ll still to make mistakes. It’s how you deal the mistakes that will make the true difference in your life.
If you’ve made a mistake or suffered a tragedy in the recent past, don’t allow the tragedy to replay in your mind over and over again. Don’t keep talking about it or telling your story over and over. You don’t want to relive the negative feels as if you were continually going through the tragedy. No one deserves that!
Instead, you have two choices, you can actively work on correcting your mistake, or you can let the feelings go because they’re not helpful to you in that moment. Or even better, do both.
Learn From Your Mistakes
There are lessons to be learned from every mistake you make no matter how small. The objective is to work on find out what these lessons are.
When negative feelings surround your past, focus on the lesson that can be learned. You might have never learned that lesson without the mistake. And now that you’ve gained this wisdom you can avoid making that mistake again in the future.
You might even take it a step further and do more with the lessons you’ve learned. Maybe you could raise awareness by telling others about your experience. If you can help others avoid the same mistakes, you’ll be doing something great for them and it will also help you feel better about the situation.
Avoid Resentment
You need to do your best to avoid resentment (and all negative emotions). Resentment is a poisonous emotion if you don’t deal with it quickly. You may even know somebody who had a falling out with a family member and resentment keeps them apart for years? Think about all the good times they’ve missed out on because of this bitterness!
Let It Go
Depending on what you’ve gone through, there may be a mourning period associated with your situation, but you’ll eventually have to let it go.
When you finally do let it go, you learn to forgive yourself and forgive others. Forgiveness is such an important element of a healthy life. It allows you to grow as a person and move forward to enjoy all that life has to offer. You weren’t meant to sit around mourning the past no matter how tragic it’s been for you.
How Negative Thinking Hurts You
Sometimes you keep telling yourself you’re over it but the negative thinking keeps creeping back into your life. You need to realize that the only person you’re hurting is yourself.
Let’s say you’ve said or done something to hurt someone’s feelings. You may think about it for days until you can’t take it anymore, and you feel you have to find this person to apologize. Many times the person may not even remember what happened, or they may just accept your apology. The point is you suffered with negative thoughts until you sought forgiveness.
There’s no need to cause yourself ongoing suffering because you made a mistake. instead seek peace and resolution, then move forward with your head held high.
And don’t forget to start a daily meditation practice if you haven’t already.
Never Stop Exploring Life!
Jerry L Saunders, RM
Tags: Anguish, Lessons Learned, Mistake, Negative Emotions, Negative Feelings, Objective, Replay, Resentment, Telling Your Story, Tragedy, True Difference, Two Choices, Wisdom
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