Let Bygones Be Bygones
Written by Jerry on January 26, 2010 – 4:57 am -Deep down you know that there is simply nothing you can do to change the past. No matter how many times you wish you’d done something differently, the past will always remain unchanged.
You need to find a way to deal with your regret. When you continue to anguish over the past, you allow your own negative feelings to consume more and more of your life. It’s time to put a stop to it, so you can think positively again and your future will be brighter.
Getting Caught Up In The Past
It’s all too easy to get caught up in the past. Nobody’s perfect and, no matter how hard you try, you’ll still to make mistakes. It’s how you deal the mistakes that will make the true difference in your life.
If you’ve made a mistake or suffered a tragedy in the recent past, don’t allow the tragedy to replay in your mind over and over again. Don’t keep talking about it or telling your story over and over. You don’t want to relive the negative feels as if you were continually going through the tragedy. No one deserves that!
Instead, you have two choices, you can actively work on correcting your mistake, or you can let the feelings go because they’re not helpful to you in that moment. Or even better, do both.
Learn From Your Mistakes
There are lessons to be learned from every mistake you make no matter how small. The objective is to work on find out what these lessons are.
When negative feelings surround your past, focus on the lesson that can be learned. You might have never learned that lesson without the mistake. And now that you’ve gained this wisdom you can avoid making that mistake again in the future.
You might even take it a step further and do more with the lessons you’ve learned. Maybe you could raise awareness by telling others about your experience. If you can help others avoid the same mistakes, you’ll be doing something great for them and it will also help you feel better about the situation.
Avoid Resentment
You need to do your best to avoid resentment (and all negative emotions). Resentment is a poisonous emotion if you don’t deal with it quickly. You may even know somebody who had a falling out with a family member and resentment keeps them apart for years? Think about all the good times they’ve missed out on because of this bitterness!
Let It Go
Depending on what you’ve gone through, there may be a mourning period associated with your situation, but you’ll eventually have to let it go.
When you finally do let it go, you learn to forgive yourself and forgive others. Forgiveness is such an important element of a healthy life. It allows you to grow as a person and move forward to enjoy all that life has to offer. You weren’t meant to sit around mourning the past no matter how tragic it’s been for you.
How Negative Thinking Hurts You
Sometimes you keep telling yourself you’re over it but the negative thinking keeps creeping back into your life. You need to realize that the only person you’re hurting is yourself.
Let’s say you’ve said or done something to hurt someone’s feelings. You may think about it for days until you can’t take it anymore, and you feel you have to find this person to apologize. Many times the person may not even remember what happened, or they may just accept your apology. The point is you suffered with negative thoughts until you sought forgiveness.
There’s no need to cause yourself ongoing suffering because you made a mistake. instead seek peace and resolution, then move forward with your head held high.
And don’t forget to start a daily meditation practice if you haven’t already.
Never Stop Exploring Life!
Jerry L Saunders, RM
Tags: Anguish, Lessons Learned, Mistake, Negative Emotions, Negative Feelings, Objective, Replay, Resentment, Telling Your Story, Tragedy, True Difference, Two Choices, Wisdom
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Keep Your Peace
Written by Jerry on September 26, 2009 – 4:51 am -Reasons Why We Lose Our Peace
Inner peace is something we all hope for, but like anything else it takes some work to achieve. Peace is waiting within all of us, but unfortunately we often lose our inner peace and let destructive emotions take over.
If we know what to look for, we can stop these negative emotions in their path and keep peace as a part of our daily lives.
Here are some of the reasons why we lose our peace:
• We Expect Perfection. Sometimes we do this without realizing it, but we always seem to be striving for perfection to an unnatural degree. You need to allow yourself to make mistakes and move forward, instead of kicking yourself for making a mistake you think you could have avoided.
• Being Afraid. When we allow fear into our lives, it disturbs the peace. We need to conquer our fears – or accept them for what they are – in order to restore a peaceful balance.
• Anger and Resentment. Some people don’t realize that strongly negative emotions like anger and resentment are detrimental to your health and well-being. If these emotions arise, it’s important to take a few deep breaths and release them.
• Being Too Busy. In this fast paced world, it’s easy to take on too much. If we start to feel too stressed out, we lose our interior freedom. Sometimes busyness and stress are unavoidable, which is why it’s important to take frequent breaks.
• Accept Challenges. Accept challenges and accept your situation. Once you surrender and deal with the situation you’re given, you’ll no longer have to deal with the negative emotions that might be fighting with you. If you can accept the worst-case scenario, then there’s nothing to worry about!
• Regrets. Regrets can cloud your current thinking with thoughts of the past that are unchangeable. When we regret the past, we lose the opportunity for peace in the present moment.
Everything Happens For a Reason
You have to remember that everything happens for a reason and everyone has a purpose. Think about everything in your life that you’re happy about and things that make you proud, and allow that to bring you joy. Remember that peace usually accompanies positive emotions.
You might regret a decision or a certain thing that happened to you. However, those negative things had to happen in order for you to be given the life that you have now. The positive things would not be there without the negative ones too. You can find peace again by remembering that everything balances out.
Meditation
If you’ve lost your peace and negative emotions are the culprit, try meditation. You can discover many things about yourself and achieve inner peace by using this simple practice.
The heart of meditation is accepting things as they are. Meditate on the fact that you need to accept all emotions in order to become free.
Achieving Inner Peace
Inner peace doesn’t have to be achieved by any set rule. The most important thing to remember is to find something that works for you personally.
Set a certain amount of time each day that you can dedicate to maintaining peace. It could be meditation, listening to your favorite music, or taking a bath. Whatever it is, when you take these simple steps, you’ll achieve an unshakeable freedom within you!
Never Stop Exploring Life!
Jerry L Saunders, RM
Tags: Anger, Busyness, challenges, Deep Breaths, Destructive Emotions, Everything Happens For A Reason, Fast Paced World, Fear, Fears, Freedom, Inner Peace, Mistake, Negative Emotions, Peaceful Balance, Present Moment, Resentment, Stress, Striving For Perfection, Surrender, Worst Case Scenario
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5 Ways To SuperSize Your Life
Written by Jerry on July 7, 2009 – 7:31 am -McDonald’s does it, why shouldn’t you? Life is filled with choices; why not choose to live life in a more satisfying way.
1. Say Yes to Life. “Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” -Henry James
Saying yes to life allows wonderful blessings to come to you. Say yes to opportunity and success. Say yes to a life that you live by your standards. Say yes to making your own decisions and not seeking approval of others. Say yes to a fulfilling and rewarding career. Say yes to a relationship that energizes, supports and stimulates you. Say yes to a promising future. Say yes to living without guilt, resentment or regrets. Say yes to spending more time on your self improvement. Say yes to living an authentic life. Say yes to taking chances and freeing yourself from fear. Say yes to happiness and achievements. Say yes to a well-lived life.
2. Love Yourself and Others Unconditionally. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs…..” I Corinthians 13: 3, 5)
When was the last time you loved without hesitation or caution? Withholding love as a means of control only leads to distrust and resentment. Loving unconditionally means loving without judgment. Free yourself from unrealistic expectations and accept the person you love for who they are. Do not expect your needs and wants to be fulfilled by someone else. Allow those you love to express themselves without fear of rejection. Do not punish yourself or loved ones for past mistakes. People use the word love very loosely, but do not stop to think of the implications of using the word. Take the time to be responsible in how you show love. Allow yourself to love and be loved.
3. Take Risks “There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin
Everything in life involves a risk. Are you allowing fear of rejection and failure to dictate your life? Fear inhibits success. Take chances and free yourself from limiting beliefs. Taking risks empowers you to take charge of your life. Be curious about life; experiment and try new things. Set goals for yourself and take action. Step out of what is safe, comfortable and familiar to you. Examine what feelings emerge when you are thinking about taking a risk. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” Concealing yourself in a safe container prevents you from exploring other possibilities. Embrace the unknown and anticipate success. You will never know the outcome if you don’t take the risk.
4. Make the Impossible, Possible “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”- Winston Churchill
Think it can’t happen; then it won’t. It is possible to get through the difficult times in life. Learn from failures and take responsibility for your life. Listening to your inner critic can sabotage your dreams. Silence the critic by reaffirming all the things you are capable of doing. Dream big and be excited about your future. Find and release your untapped talents. Believe in your abilities and discover what you have to offer the world. Think about all the things you can’t do and try to do them. Think back to a time, when something was difficult and you were able to overcome the challenge. Continuing to live life in a safe container doesn’t help you gain anything in life. Take the necessary actions to achieve your goals. Stop assuming and start achieving!
5. Make Your Life Really Count. “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard
What’s your legacy? How do you want to be remembered? The life you live defines who you are and the choices you make will determine what impact you will have on the lives of others. Never underestimate the power of your words and actions. You were uniquely created to make a contribution to the world. It is your right and your obligation to make your mark in this world. Surround yourself with people who are supportive, positive and encouraging. Show appreciation and gratitude to those around you. If you have a message to share, then share it with the world. Staying small and thinking small will not get you where you need to be in life. Starting today, have a new perspective on life. Start a new chapter in your life.
Never Stop Exploring Life!
Jerry L Saunders, RM
Tags: Authentic Life, Blessings, Bud, Caution, Corinthians 13, Fear Of Rejection, guilt, Henry James, Hesitation, Love Is Patient, Love Is Patient Love Is Kind, Regrets, Resentment, Rewarding Career, Rsquo, Saying Yes To Life, Self Improvement, Taking Chances, Unrealistic Expectations, Using The Word
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Build Your Partners Esteem
Written by Jerry on February 10, 2009 – 12:34 am -Have you ever been in a relationship where things have just stop moving or growing? Or even worse, you both seem to look for flaws in each other? I’ll admit that I have. And it ain’t much fun!
Here’s what I have learned.
As a partner in life, you both have a responsibility to help your partner out. Not just in the mundane tasks of daily life, but also in emotional and psychological matters. This includes helping your partner improve his or her self-esteem.
Okay, I’m tired of this “his or her” stuff already. For the rest of this article I’m going to use the word him or his. The concept applies to both male or female. Can you live with that?
Helping your partner improve his self-esteem is one of the best ways for you to express your love and keep your relationship strong. You’re not only doing your partner a favor when you boost his self-esteem, you are also contributing to the longevity of your relationship.
A healthy self-image or self-esteem is one of the signs of maturity. For a relationship to work out, Read more »
Tags: Circumstances, Failure, Gap, Longevity, Love, Love Relationship, Mate, Mundane Tasks, Nbsp, Partner, Psychological Matters, Relationship, Resentment, Rsquo, Self Esteem, Self Image, Signs Of Maturity
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